My Weird Cat Boyfriend
by Conspiraty
Summary: My life was completely different...until I started dating Adrien, A.K.A Chat Noir. But I think being Chat Noir got into his head...he's acting...well like a cat. But to know more about him, you'll have to read my diary entry! c; Marinette P.S. Conspiraty doesn't own Miraculous Ladybug.


**Conspiraty:** Hello chibis! So here's another one-shot! Again! I think I have a one-shot problem x: Lol. So just a reminder, I will be leaving this week on Saturday, so I can't promise any updating next week, but I will try!

~Responses to KC~

UnicornSecrets: Yes! I usually don't remember the author's names in the books I read lol. But I'll say my favorite is Marissa Meyer because of The Lunar Chronicles. It's like my safe haven. I haven't been for almost a year lol. I love them! If they like it, then they can do whatever the hell they want with them, as for me, I will say no to them. LOL. Now that I think about it, all of them are based on animals, I feel like one of them is at least a vegetarian. I have only seen the first one. Thank you Uni chan!

Pinksakura271: It's this one, lol. I wanted to make one about how Adrien would act as a human cat kind of thing, because I've never done it. Thank you! I do like Fanfiction, but lately, I've been using Line Webtoon, an app that has all sorts of comics you can read FOR FREE. So I've been reading a lot of those lately. Reading is relaxing. I haven't read them, but I've seen both of the movies. I'm only a little bit stressed lol. Just a little. I'll try lol. I like it, but I can't say I love it. I don't think I can pick a favorite turtle lol. I know the movie came out, haven't seen it. I love Melanie so much. I should do a one-shot based on that one day. I hate Grenade e.e The lyrics are stupid (For the people who like it, I'm sorry, but I just don't like it lol.) Waffle fries are my favorite. THANK YOU. (I'm gonna answer both here.) Yeah, it'll probably be one of the next chapters. I've heard of Charmed, never watched it. I couldn't think of what show she would like lol. I like Steven Universe. STILL WAITING ON THE REBOOT. I like Invader Zim. Thank you! I can make a pretty good duck lip lol. I don't know about that one, lol.

This one-shot is like a diary entry, btw. And it's Marinette talking as first person POV.

 **XOXO**

Dear Diary,

I haven't written in you for a while now, but that's because I've been hanging out with my weird cat boyfriend. Yes, you read me right. My weird cat boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, he's sweet and kind and all that, but let me just tell you how weird my cat boyfriend is...

 **1) Since he acts like a cat, he acts like he doesn't have a sweet tooth.**

"Adrien, will you try this batter for me?" I questioned, holding out the spoon dipped in batter. Adrien shook his head and put his hands on his hips. "Cats don't have a sweet tooth, so I cannot help you with this task, my lady."

I looked at him and tilted my head. "Huh?"

"That's right! Scientists believe that this is due to a mutation in a key taste receptor." I scratched my head in confusion and yelled, "Mom! Can you taste this batter for me?! I need a second opinion!"

 **2) He likes to rub his body against me frequently.**

I sat in front of my sewing machine, working on a shirt. As I sewed, I felt something moving on my leg. I jumped in fear, thinking it's a spider or something. I looked down and saw Adrien on the ground, smiling. "Hi."

"What are you doing?" I asked him. "I'm rubbing my head on you! I have to mark my territory or else others are gonna think you're an easy pick up!"

"Adrien, I can handle myself." I snorted, going back to my sewing. A minute later, I looked down and saw Adrien rubbing his hair on me, purring softly. "ADRIEN!" I yelled. "What?!"

"I'm trying to work!" I whined. "But I wanna snuggle!" Adrien whined. I groaned and Adrien laid his head on my lap, purring. I roll my eyes and started to pet his hair as I worked with one hand.

 **3) He hates water.**

I slowly opened the bathroom and saw Adrien brushing his hair. I was holding a water bottle. I snickered softly and opened the bottle. I fully opened the door and splashed Adrien with the water. He jumped five feet up in the air and hissed.

"Marinette! You know I hate water!" Adrien pouted. I giggled. Adrien shook off the water and sprayed me as he shook his hair out. "Hey!" I yelled.

 **4) He likes to draw whiskers on his face. Every day.**

"You know, instead of wasting the sharpie, you can just buy a mask." I told him, sitting on the bed. Adrien was standing in front of me, showing off his face. He drew 12 whiskers on each side of his face, and he also drew a cat nose on his nose.

Adrien gasped happily, and yelled, "I CAN BUY THE MASK?!" I groaned loudly as I realized what I said. "Dang it, I gave you the idea!"

 **5) A cat's eyesight is better and also worse than a human's eyesight. And sadly...my boyfriend thinks he has terrible eyesight.**

I held Adrien's hand as we walked to the restaurant. I giggled as he told me a story about one of his adventures with his best friend, Nino.

"And then I grabbed the pan and I-" He froze as he stared at the grass. "Mari, do you see this?!"

"See what? The grass?" I asked. "Yeah, but it's red!" He yelled, confused. I looked at the grass, and saw no red. "Uh, I only see green grass..."

"No, it's red!" Adrien insisted, pointing to the grass. People stared to stare at us and they started whispering. "Uh honey, how about we go eat now?" I nervously laughed, pulling his arm as I tried to get us out of there.

"No, I need to take a picture of the red grass for proof!" Adrien exclaimed, pulling out his phone. "Uh sir, are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?" A young woman asked. I covered my face with my hands and blushed in embarrassment. "I don't know him, I don't know him, I don't know him..." I repeated, mumbling to myself.

 **6) Speaking of restaurants, he likes to...order things they don't serve.**

We sat down in the booth, opening the menu up. A server came up to us and smiled. "Welcome to Chez Paris. What would you guys like to order?"

"I want to order a bowl of milk, and then for the meal, I want to order a big bowl of cat food. But nothing sweet, I can't eat sweets." The server looked at him confused. "...You want to order a big bowl of...cat food?" He asked.

Adrien nodded excitedly. "Yes, a big bowl of cat food!" I started to sink down in my seat, trying to hide away from this. "Oh my lord...Jesus take the wheel." I muttered, covering my face with my hands.

"Sir...we don't serve cat food here. But I can get you something small, like some fries or something-"

"I'm sorry good sir, but I won't eat anything else but cat food. If you can't give me the food I want, then I won't dine here. Come on, Mari." Adrien got up and walked out. I slowly got up and whispered, "I am so sorry, waiter."

 **7) He acts weird around dogs.**

I laughed as I ripped a piece of bread and gently throwed it to the birds and watched as they ate it. Adrien had his arm around me, smiling. I heard a 'woof' and I looked down and saw a dog, wagging its tail happily. It was a white Yorkie.

"Aw, the dog is so cute!" I squealed. Adrien growled under his breath and hissed at the dog. I raise my eyebrows in confusion. "Adrien? What's wrong?"

Adrien hissed at the dog, and the dog ran off. "Oh no you don't, you dirty mangy mutt! Come back here!" Adrien got up quickly and ran after the dog. "Adrien! Leave him alone!" I yelled, getting up and chasing after him.

 _A few minutes later..._

The dog whimpered in its owner's arms and the lady glared at Adrien. He had his arms crossed and glared at the dog. "Care to explain why you've traumatized my dog?" I nervously laughed and said, "I'm so sorry about that, ma'am. Adrien, apologize please."

Adrien looked at the dog and hissed at it again. The dog yelped and I yelled, "Adrien!"

"What?"

 **8) He likes to scratch things a lot. Even the people.**

I walked into my room and my mouth flew open in shock. All of my pillows were scratched up, stuffing everywhere, my stuff was knocked out onto the floor. I even saw some broken glass on the ground. My desk was scratched up, my sewing machine was broken.

"Who did this?" I questioned. "Oh, that was me." Adrien responded, crawling on the floor and scratching my legs. "OW OW OW OW OW OW! Adrien, that hurts!" I screamed, trying to shake him off.

 **9) He's a little weird when he's sleeping.**

As I slept, I was woken by a foot in my face. I shook the foot off and got up groggily. "Why is his foot in my face..." I mumbled sleepily. I rubbed my face as I sat up on the bed and looked to my right. Adrien's face was at the end of the bed, and his feet on the pillow. He was snoring. I yawned and pushed his feet away from me, laying my head on my pillow.

A few minutes later, I felt someone crawl on top of me. I groaned mentally and looked up. Adrien's body was laying on me, and he snored on my face. "How am I supposed to sleep with all of this weight on me?" I mumbled.

Adrien grabbed me and squeezed me too tight as he slept. "Noooooo, Let me go." I whined, as I tried to pry him off to no success.

 **10) He'll only watch one movie whenever we want to watch movies.**

"What movie do you watch to watch today, babe?" I asked, looking through my movie collection. Adrien smiled brightly. "Catwoman!" I groaned loudly. "That's the 4th time we've seen it this week, honey." I explained.

"Catwoman is my spirit animal! The queen of cats! I must learn all of her secrets and become like her!" Adrien announced in determation, his eyes sparkling. I sighed and popped the movie in, walking to the bed and laying on it in boredom.

 **11) He doesn't use the toilet to do his business.**

I unlocked the front door and yelled, "I'm home!" I closed it and locked the door. I took off my shoes and padded into the kitchen. I saw Adrien sitting naked on top of something. "Adrien?! Why are you naked?!" I screeched, covering my eyes.

"I'm using the toilet!" Adrien explained. "The toilet is in the bathroom!" I yelled, pointing to the bathroom. "No, I'm using a litter box." Adrien replied. I uncovered my eyes and indeed, he was sitting on top of a litter box. "What the hell! You don't need a litter box! We have a perfectly good toilet!"

"Cats don't use toilets, Mari! Duh!" Adrien exclaimed. I rubbed my head in annoyance.

 **12) And finally...the shedding is unbearable.**

I ate some cereal as I hummed. I looked down and noticed that there was some blond hairs in my cereal. "Huh? There wasn't any hair in the cereal when I poured it out..." I said in confusion. I felt some hair on me and frowned. "What the heck..."

Then, I looked up and saw Adrien shaking out his hair above me. I felt some of the hair fall on top of me. "Adrien! I'm trying to eat!" I exclaimed. "Sorry Mari, it's time to shed some of my cat fur."

As I got ready and got into my bed, I felt itchy everywhere. "Huh? I just washed these..." I questioned, lifting the blanket. I saw a ton of blond hairs on the bed. I growled under my breath and got off the bed. "Nope. Nada. I'm sleeping on the floor."

I stepped onto the floor and felt something on my feet. I looked down at my feet and saw a bunch of blond hair. "ADRIEN!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

And that, Diary, is what I have to go through every single day with my boyfriend. Don't know why he chooses to act like a cat, but it can get annoying.

But I only deal with him for this long because I love him. Even if he does act weird. How can you not love him, he's like a sweet child. Anyways, I just had to explain my absence. Hopefully, I can share some more cat habits that my boyfriend does lol.

…

But seriously, he does need to stop using the damn litterbox as a bathroom. It's starting to stink up the whole damn house.

Signed,

Marinette Dupain-Cheng

 **XOXO**

 **Conspiraty:** Thank you guys for reading! I used to have a cat, until it ran away, so that's where I got some of this behavior, but otherwise, everything else was from the website, facetretriever. And some of them were from memory lol. This is only a scratch of the surface of what cats do, maybe they'll be a part two, only if you want it. I hope you enjoyed this fun twist of what I usually do, and I got the inspiration from a comic on Line Webtoon called, "My Giant Nerd Boyfriend." One of my favorites! Anyways, bye bye! I love you all!


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